Category Archives: Revision Advice From Us

Re-open Submission Day: Oct 1 2012

SUBMISSIONS TO SUCKER VOLUME 2 WILL BE REOPENED FOR 24 HOURS!

ATTENTION WRITERS-

Volume number 2 needs a few more stories.

So, we are inviting folks to submit on October 1st. Only send your best work. We will not be mentoring folks for this round, only accepting or rejecting. Make sure your piece is polished and shiny. Please edit your work before you submit. We have a lot of great articles on this blog about editing and revision. Feel free to read before you submit.

Send to suckerliterary@gmail.com with a subject line OPEN SUBMISSION DAY. We will not read stories that do not follow our guidelines. http://suckerliterarymagazine.wordpress.com/submission-guidelines/

http://suckerliterarymagazine.wordpress.com/category/revision-advice-from-us/  REVISION

http://suckerliterarymagazine.wordpress.com/category/stuff-to-know-about-us/ STUFF TO KNOW

Guest Post: From Allie B, On Self-Editing

­A Rookie’s Guide to Good Self-Editing

Editing is important. It goes hand in hand with writing and publishing. You can’t publish a story without editing it, and you can’t edit a story without writing it…

But what is an editor?

Believe it or not, they are regular people, with regular interests and regular lives.

Editors don’t live in ivory towers, they aren’t out to destroy your career, and they aren’t heartless monsters. They are business professionals, and they are interested in a quality story.

Having a good story, a complete story, is the most important part of getting published. The second most important is telling that story with great writing.

So how do we make sure we accomplish these things before we send our work to an editor?

We edit it.

Yes, you read that right. We must edit our work BEFORE we send it to an editor.

Editors and writers are busy people so sending an editor a mess of a story with plot holes, inconsistent characters, and no understanding of grammar is a waste of time for BOTH of you.

You don’t learn anything as a writer by getting an automatic rejection based on the first or second sentence of your story.

The goal of sending a story to an editor is to have them read it—the whole thing. We do this by self-editing.

On my own blog, Allie B Books, I take you through a rigorous and sometimes painful step-by-step description of my own process, but today we get the cheat notes on the importance of self-editing.

TEN STEPS TO A GOOD SELF-EDIT

1.     Keep a fresh mind.

Once you rip through your first draft, it is important to rest. Separate yourself from the work by taking a break, working on something else, or focus on your “real” life. Do whatever you need to do to get your head straight and make sure that you have taken enough time so that when you come back to the story, you are seeing it with new eyes.

2.     Read it like you didn’t write it.

When you read over your story for the first time, do so as if someone else wrote it.

Keep this question in mind and ask it frequently as you self-edit: ‘What would I expect from this story if I hadn’t written it?’

3.     Perfect the concept

I was told that if you can’t describe your entire story in one sentence, then it is too complicated, or you have not figured out the focus yet.

My first reaction to that was “Whatever, that’s just what agents tell you so you don’t ramble for hours.”.  But now that I have decided to set my first novel aside due to self-diagnosed plot complications I retract all former snark and doubt. It’s true. I had no focus because I didn’t take the time to really think about my concept and perfect the base of my story, and it showed.

Write a one-sentence summary for your story; write it a hundred times in a hundred different ways if you have to. This is your concept and the stronger and more compelling the sentence is, the stronger your story is. If you cannot, for the life of you, come up with something, then there is something wrong with your story or your focus.

4.     Write a review

To find out what is lacking in your story, refer back to the question “What would I expect from this story if I hadn’t written it?” Write a review of your story, and not one of the goofy reviews found on Goodreads with the gif’s of dancing cats. I mean rate your piece seriously and write a real review. It is here where you will find out if there was too much/not enough romance, if the characters were too flat, if the tension needs to be boosted etc.  Remember: What would you expect from the story if you hadn’t written it?

5.     The five R’s

Once you’ve focused your concept and decided the story’s strengths and weaknesses, you can go through the story scene by scene and make changes based on the five R’s.

  • Review what you’ve written and make notes about what you could do to make it better.
  • Refer to your one-sentence summary.
  • Revise the scene based on your review notes.
  • Rewrite it if there are too many problems with it.
  • Refresh your mind by stretching, taking a break, napping, checking your email or whatever activity time permits.

6.     Don’t be scared to CUT CUT CUT

Here are two of the most important questions to ask yourself for every scene, paragraph, sentence and word:

a) Does this advance the plot?

b)  Does this develop the characters?

If the answer is “no” to both of those questions, CUT IT! Never hold onto something because you think it’s clever or funny or smart because chances are it’s not. As they say in the biz, “Kill your darlings!”

I wrote a newspaper article with a finishing line that I thought was the best line of the whole feature, and you know what? The editor cut it… it was the ONLY line that was cut from the piece. If it doesn’t help tell your story or bring your characters to life, get rid of it.

It’s easier said than done but divorce yourself from the work and remind yourself it’s not about you: it’s about the story.

7.     Tighten up

Now that the story is complete, focused, and clear, it’s time to get into the POWER of the writing. Time to focus on the pacing, tension, emotion, and language of your story. Go through every scene, paragraph and sentence and ask yourself:

a)    “What am I trying to convey here?”

b)   “Am I achieving the desired effect?”

c)     “Is there a better way to convey what I want?”

If the scene you are reading is a fight scene and you have massive paragraphs and sentences, loads of description and babbling characters telling backstory, chances are it’s a boring fight scene.

Fight scenes are fast. High tension. Clanging swords. Thundering hearts ringing out over short breaths. Fear. Short sentences. That’s how to speed it up.

Did you do that?

Can you do it better?

Try.

I dare you.

8.     Be consistent

There is nothing worse than reading a story with inconsistencies in it. Nothing. I can deal with the odd spelling mistake but POV head-hopping, character inconsistencies, setting flubs, and an all over the place voice is THE most annoying thing about poorly edited stories.

Some questions to consider as you read through:

a) Is my character clear and believable in their actions and dialogue? (Keep your character sketches handy for reference).

b) Do I head-hop or is the scene from one POV? If I’m head-hopping, is it intentional? Is it clear and obvious who’s POV it is? Are the transitions from one POV to another clear and smooth?

c) Are my descriptions engaging? Are they consistent with other descriptions I’ve made about similar places? Are they vivid and clear?

d) Is the setting obvious and well-developed? Or do I just have talking heads with no clear idea of where they are, what they are surrounded by and the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes of the environment? Is my setting alive or do I have characters in a bubble?

e) Is the voice consistent? Am I staying true to the character’s voice (if first person)? Is the distinction between different character’s POV voices and narrator clear and effective?

9.     Proof of quality is in the proofread

For the proofread I suggest three things. First, read this post on revisions by Sucker Literary Magazine and familiarize yourself with the common errors writers make.

Second, read your story out loud as if you were reading it to a hall of people. Project your voice and point to each word as you read it. If the sentence is not grammatically correct and/or well written, you will stumble over the words. Well-written sentences will flow off your tongue beautifully. The reason I say to point to the words as you read them is because as writers, we spend a lot of time with our stories and after a while we start to see what we THINK is there not what is actually there. Pointing to the words forces you to read what is written.

Last, check for clichés and over used words. I have a secret love for the word slightly. I use it ALL the time. It’s a toxic relationship, and I’m almost over it… almost. Slightly. I do searches of random words to see how many times I’ve used them in the story. For example: I’ve used the word ‘story’ 35 times in this post. I should find other words to use…

10.   Be honest

The final step may well be the most important in the self-editing process and that is being honest with yourself.

I know you are excited and you want to send that story out and you want editors to love it and you want to get that letter that says you’ve been accepted for publication, but if the story is not ready, it is not ready.

If you don’t think the story is ready than go back to step one and refresh. Work on something else for a while then come back, take another look and decide if this story is worth fixing or if you are better off breaking up and moving on to stories that make you happier!

END NOTE: You are going to miss things. In every step you will miss something but that is OKAY! This is the self-edit! You CANNOT edit your own work to perfection, but the better you self-edit the more your editor will love you… and the better your writing will be, because the less time your editor spends rolling her eyes at your all-over-the-place character descriptions and your non-existent knowledge of comma splices, the better s/he can help you improve your story and your writing.

Happy Editing from Allie B!

I am not an editor. I am a writer that hates editing but knows how truly vital it is on the journey to publication. I developed a self-editing method that works for me and share it in hopes that it may help someone else. I value the hair on my head and my sanity and suggest if you also value these things that you take the time to do things right. It may take a bit more time and seems more painful, but in the end it will save you worlds of hassle.

That I promise you.

Allie B, an emerging Young Adult writer fascinated by the joys and tragedies that come with growing up. She grew up loving all things fantasy and all her work reflects that love. She currently lives and works as a Graphic Designer in Yukon Territory, Canada. When she is not writing or hibernating, she spends most of her time outside being inspired by the majestic northern landscape.  Follow Allie B on Twitter at  @alliebbooks and check out her blog  alliebbooks.wordpress.com and visit her on Goodreads at  http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/6963769-allie-b

Allie B’s Urban Fantasy short story will be featured in the upcoming issue of Sucker Literary Magazine, so stay tuned!

Reposting Revision Advice…Writers, please follow before you resubmit.

When you write your first and second drafts, you should write freely and without censorship or judgment. This will prevent you from running into that brick wall we writers call “writer’s block”.

After you have exhausted all your creative juices, stop. Take a break. Live your life. Think about your piece, daydream about the plot and characters on long walks or during bike rides. When you feel nice and mellow, come back to the desk but allow your logical, analytical left-brain to take over. This time when you work, think like a tailor or sculptor–stitch together the loose parts, reshape the lumpy areas. Think sequentially, think organization. Be patient, and don’t work for long hours.

Consider the following style/grammatical problems that many writers have in their first and second drafts.

1. Telling and not showing, when showing would be more effective:

  • Not effective: Logan had to take full control of her and Matthew’s emotions.
  • Effective: Logan grabbed her purse and Matthew’s hand. “We will not get hysterical over this.” Then she dragged Matthew with her out the door.

2. Passive Voice versus active voice

  • Passive: The brother was smacked by the sister.
  • Active: The sister smacked the brother.

3. Unnecessary gerunds versus precise verbs and/or gerunds.

  • Unnecessary: They were leaping about and were screaming at the boys.
  • Precise: They leaped about and screamed at the boys.
  • Unnecessary: The car was going fast, and she was taking her cell phone out of her purse.
  •  Precise: She drove the car fast, while rummaging around her purse for her cell phone.

4. Inconsistent tense versus consistent tense

  • Inconsistent: She walks to the store and went through the back door. When she sees her boss, she cried about the money she took and begs him to forgive her.
  •  Consistent: She walks to the store and goes through the back door. When she sees her boss, she cries about the money she had taken and begs him to forgive her.

5. Use adverbs that end in –ly instead of showing the “how” or “why”.

  • Not effective: She politely declined his incredibly great offer.
  • A little better: While his offer was enticing, she rejected it, adding, “But thanks anyway!”
  • Best: ”No thanks,” she said handing him back the money.

6. Pronoun/antecedent problem versus proper positioning of pronouns and antecedents

  • Problem: John and Brad didn’t know if he needed help with both his truck and car. It had a flat tire.
  • No problem: John and Brad didn’t know if the man needed help with both vehicles; the truck had the flat tire and the car didn’t. It appeared to be fine.

7. Losing track of characters/props/furniture in a scene.

  • She carried the candle into the dark room and searched for the missing book.  Suddenly she smacked into someone. “Ahhh!” she screamed but then realized it was just her brother David.  She threw her arms around him and laughed. [Where did the candle go?]
  • She carried the candle into the dark room. “Where is that damned book?” she wondered. Suddenly she smacked into someone. “Ahhh!” she screamed, almost dropping the candle.  “David!” she yelled at her little brother.  “What are you doing?” She put the candle on the ground and threw her arms around him in relief. “I just wanted to help you find that book,” he told her. [We know that she put the candle down.]

8. Redundancy:

Dad was angry. “Not in my house,” he yelled. [We don't need "Dad was angry" because he's yelling.]
“Okay,” I obediently responded. [The obedience is implied.]

9. Dialogue that serves only to provide background information that could be woven into the action of the story:
“I know you are the youngest girl in the family and the only one who likes to draw. Your older sister is always getting the attention, too. It must be hard for you.”
10. Trite, clichéd language:

  • “It’s like a whole new world,” Abby whispered to herself, not knowing Daniel had heard her. He smiled, unable to take his eyes off her; she was as bright as day.
  • It was as bald as the top of an old man’s head.

11. Awkward and clichéd use of similes and metaphors

  • A feeling like warm honey spread through her chest
  • He felt a pulling on his heart.
  • Her heart shattered in two.

Other Special Issues in first drafts

1.    Opening your story with a lot of exposition and background versus getting right to it. Just begin. Don’t explain it to us. Telling is a tool to use, but you must choose the right moments where action simply can’t show what the reader needs to know. Deb Caletti uses a telling technique in Honey, Baby, Sweetheart to open the novel. But it has movement and intention that helps propel us into the conflict.
2.    Inconsistent point-of-view.  Georgia McBride advises that when writing in 1st person only show things through the five senses of the protagonist. “1st person knows only what the 5 senses allow. Otherwise (s)he assumes or presumes. Easy to slip up here.”
3.    Including details that are irrelevant to reader.
4.    Not using precise details to enhance setting and characters.
5.    Not using precise details to propel the action of the story.

Some odds-n-ends:

Overused phrases
Swallowing tears
Lumps in throat
Pit in stomach

Words to Avoid
Beautiful
Nice
Sweet
Very
Really
Wonderful
Feel
Look (verb)

Just something that annoys me personally: Try not to use start or realize too much. Also, in first person work, count how many “I’s” you have per page. Find ways to reduce. Another tidbit, avoid awkward pop culture references that sound dated instead of cool.

Remember that rules are meant to be broken at times–as long as you have a reason and intention for doing so.

Revision

When you write your first and second drafts, you should write freely and without censorship or judgment. This will prevent you from running into that brick wall we writers call “writer’s block”.

After you have exhausted all your creative juices, stop. Take a break. Live your life. Think about your piece, daydream about the plot and characters on long walks or during bike rides. When you feel nice and mellow, come back to the desk but allow your logical, analytical left-brain to take over. This time when you work, think like a tailor or sculptor–stitch together the loose parts, reshape the lumpy areas. Think sequentially, think organization. Be patient, and don’t work for long hours.

Consider the following style/grammatical problems that many writers have in their first and second drafts.

1. Telling and not showing, when showing would be more effective:

  • Not effective: Logan had to take full control of her and Matthew’s emotions.
  • Effective: Logan grabbed her purse and Matthew’s hand. “We will not get hysterical over this.” Then she dragged Matthew with her out the door.

2. Passive Voice versus active voice

  • Passive: The brother was smacked by the sister.
  • Active: The sister smacked the brother.

3. Unnecessary gerunds versus precise verbs and/or gerunds.

  • Unnecessary: They were leaping about and were screaming at the boys.
  • Precise: They leaped about and screamed at the boys.
  • Unnecessary: The car was going fast, and she was taking her cell phone out of her purse.
  •  Precise: She drove the car fast, while rummaging around her purse for her cell phone.

4. Inconsistent tense versus consistent tense

  • Inconsistent: She walks to the store and went through the back door. When she sees her boss, she cried about the money she took and begs him to forgive her.
  •  Consistent: She walks to the store and goes through the back door. When she sees her boss, she cries about the money she had taken and begs him to forgive her.

5. Use adverbs that end in –ly instead of showing the “how” or “why”.

  • Not effective: She politely declined his incredibly great offer.
  • A little better: While his offer was enticing, she rejected it, adding, “But thanks anyway!”
  • Best: “No thanks,” she said handing him back the money.

6. Pronoun/antecedent problem versus proper positioning of pronouns and antecedents

  • Problem: John and Brad didn’t know if he needed help with both his truck and car. It had a flat tire.
  • No problem: John and Brad didn’t know if the man needed help with both vehicles; the truck had the flat tire and the car didn’t. It appeared to be fine.

7. Losing track of characters/props/furniture in a scene.

  • She carried the candle into the dark room and searched for the missing book.  Suddenly she smacked into someone. “Ahhh!” she screamed but then realized it was just her brother David.  She threw her arms around him and laughed. [Where did the candle go?]
  • She carried the candle into the dark room. “Where is that damned book?” she wondered. Suddenly she smacked into someone. “Ahhh!” she screamed, almost dropping the candle.  “David!” she yelled at her little brother.  “What are you doing?” She put the candle on the ground and threw her arms around him in relief. “I just wanted to help you find that book,” he told her. [We know that she put the candle down.]

8. Redundancy:

Dad was angry. “Not in my house,” he yelled. [We don't need "Dad was angry" because he's yelling.]
“Okay,” I obediently responded. [The obedience is implied.]

9. Dialogue that serves only to provide background information that could be woven into the action of the story:
“I know you are the youngest girl in the family and the only one who likes to draw. Your older sister is always getting the attention, too. It must be hard for you.”
10. Trite, clichéd language:

  • “It’s like a whole new world,” Abby whispered to herself, not knowing Daniel had heard her. He smiled, unable to take his eyes off her; she was as bright as day.
  • It was as bald as the top of an old man’s head.

11. Awkward and clichéd use of similes and metaphors

  • A feeling like warm honey spread through her chest
  • He felt a pulling on his heart.
  • Her heart shattered in two.

Other Special Issues in first drafts

1.    Opening your story with a lot of exposition and background versus getting right to it. Just begin. Don’t explain it to us. Telling is a tool to use, but you must choose the right moments where action simply can’t show what the reader needs to know. Deb Caletti uses a telling technique in Honey, Baby, Sweetheart to open the novel. But it has movement and intention that helps propel us into the conflict.
2.    Inconsistent point-of-view.  Georgia McBride advises that when writing in 1st person only show things through the five senses of the protagonist. “1st person knows only what the 5 senses allow. Otherwise (s)he assumes or presumes. Easy to slip up here.”
3.    Including details that are irrelevant to reader.
4.    Not using precise details to enhance setting and characters.
5.    Not using precise details to propel the action of the story.

Some odds-n-ends:

Overused phrases
Swallowing tears
Lumps in throat
Pit in stomach

Words to Avoid
Beautiful
Nice
Sweet
Very
Really
Wonderful

Just something that annoys me personally: Try not to use start or realize too much. Also, in first person work, count how many “I’s” you have per page. Find ways to reduce. Another tidbit, avoid awkward pop culture references that sound dated instead of cool.

Remember that rules are meant to be broken at times–as long as you have a reason and intention for doing so.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 834 other followers